Posted: July 15, 2008 in City, Electric, Humor, Life, Musings, Rant, Slam, Snippet, Urban

I remember the first time
I met you, with crazy ragged hair
And bloodshot blue eyes
Concealed behind dirty lenses
I can’t recall all you said
Those two, three years ago
But it made me laugh my ass off
Your outlandish tales of sex and drugs met
With my doubtful acceptance
I met you your senior year, and for
A long while after, you fell off
Of the radar, only reestablishing
Contact at the most random of times
Eager to entertain, you would launch into a
Monologue that always began with
“Dude, you won’t believe the
Shit that happened last night.”
But believe I did, no matter
The premise, no matter how full of shit
You might have been
I remember these tales of everything
That happened “last night”
I remember the iconic bat story,
Where you wandered, stoned, through tunnels
Beneath the streets, and encountered a
Swarm of bats, one of which nestled on your
Back for three or four hours before
You finally found out about it
I remember the time you combined
A few hits of Salvia with a five-hour energy drink
And took a “spirit walk” through Ojai’s
Streets as Bo Diddley spoke
To you with his songs
I remember the time you
Were walking through the mall
With a bag of candy from the Sweet Factory
You saw this asshole pushing his
Girlfriend around close to the edge
Of a balcony high above the first floor
And you beat the shit out of
That motherfucker with assorted
Jelly beans and licorice and Skittles
In a brilliant display before
Mall security was hot on your tail
Over these last two, three years you’ve been
A friend, a jokester, a partner in crime, a juxtaposition
To my boring self
But most of all you have been
A randomly occurring constant,
A stable variable,
A guy that can discuss film and literature and
Seriously contemplate the moral issues raised in Grand Theft Auto
And I never can wait for your crazy eyes
To see something new and tell me
“Dude, you won’t believe the
Shit that happened last night.”


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